So I'm sitting here looking out through the large windows inside our living area. Squinting my eyes because of the brightness the sun that is reflecting off the snow that covers the ground like a blanket. No school today or yesterday which has been nice to just have a break and be able to relax and be with my family. As I'm trying to decide what the best word is to describe how I'm feeling or how everything has been I can't think of one word in particular. I've told people this new journey has been a roller coaster ride with ups and downs. So my response of how I'm feeling really truly depends on the day or the hour or the minute. Overall, I would say simply I've been good but I could be better. These past few weeks have been a struggle. It's been hard to find time to just do what needs to be done whether that is to just cry or journal about how I'm feeling or just take time to be silent and let God's spirit be known to me. At times I do feel myself trying to underestimate how I'm feeling deep down. I want all this change to be easy. I want friendships to develop easily and quickly, for adjustment to new surroundings to come easily or for contentment be known and felt. But what I've come to realize is that it just takes time.....Not an easy thought to hear at all. Although there have been times of hope and excitement right now the thoughts that fill my mind are of no extreme happiness or sadness but instead of indescribable feelings. I can't really put into words how I'm feeling during this moment, but I know that I'm not alone and thats all that matters.
I hope your doing well. May you experience God's peace in your hearts in the coming weeks and months.
Take Care,
4 comments:
You have said it well Em. Even though you don't always have the words or feel like you need more time to explain what it is you are really feeling, you are loved. I hope that you can allow the space to sit at Jesus' feet and find a sense of peace and calm that only comes from Him.
Love you,
mom
Emily, thanks for being honest! No one expects a transition like this to be easy, but until you're in the middle of it, I guess it's hard to appreciate the myriad of emotions you're going to feel. Hear Jesus singing to you, "I love you, for you. Not for what you have done or for what you'll become. I love you, for you." Hugs, Jill
Em,
Thanks for blogging your thoughts and feelings. You are not alone.
Dad
Em..your ability to say that it's hard to explain how you feel and how you're doing right now is huge. i think "not knowing how you feel" IS a feeling :). your trust in God encourages me, especially as I'm getting ready to make changes in my life too..you encourage me that with God I don't need to be scared about them.
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