Its hard for me to believe that almost a year ago the decision was being made that our family would move to Ohio. I find myself trying to relive the emotions that filled my body as I delt with the thoughts that entered my mind. But as I try to relive the emotions I realize I cannot truly feel the way I felt when I was in the midst of the process. The process/journey/transition is not over, the emotions and feelings of loss, sadness, and fear are still present. And as this journey has progressed the question that has played in my mind over and over again is "Who Am I?" More specifically...Where do I fit in in this community? Where do I use the gifts God has given me? Who do I choose to connect with? Can I be myself? I'm struggling a bit as you can see.
I'm missing home the place where I felt connected, affirmed, and loved. I don't think you can ever realize what all you have until its not with you. Truth is its gonna take time for me to become connected here in Ohio..to feel affirmed for WHO I AM..
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Romans 5:3-4
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
1 comment:
Ma i affirm you for who you are, Em? You have an understanding heart, a sympathetic ear, a compassionate spirit. You feel deeply with an openness to God's word that I have rarely seen in a teenager. Thanks for your honesty in your blogs. I empathize with you, today. In the past year, I've learned how important it is to separate your identity from where you live to who you are, to lean on God for that assurance instead of a community of people. (Easy to say, but nearly impossible to do!) We've been led to leave Ridgeway, too, even though we haven't left the area. May the people in your new community affirm what God is doing in you and may you be open to allow them to see it!
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